The Director of the Laal Hethri, General of the Skies Nuulo Isdrix, spoke today during his press conference about a serious matter that could possibly affect every Soul in Hell--The War on Christmas.
"I have an announcement that give me great joy today. In the conflict known on Terra as The War on Christmas, Hell has scored a major victory through the power of the liberal media. Please watch and enjoy."
The Director who could barely stifle his laughter then spoke, "Of course this is a big joke that Major General Rouge and some fione folks at the CBS eyelab cooked up. There are some people that actually believe that the chief crime investigation agency has the time, demonpower or will to wage a war on a holiday. Those people I truly find very, very sad. Then again it is fun to ruffle their feathers, harmlessly, from time to time! Qu'ul ciuda praedex nihil!"
Colonel Shuvra Qoboros Melmikan, O.B.R.E., O.Q.H. [Tort.], D.S.V.J.
Public Affairs Officer
Special Branch
6th Urine Dowsing Division
Butcher's Garden
91 High Lux Negro 2 AS
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